Tuesday, November 12, 2013

REFLECTIONS ON BEING ALONE........And Validation




Originally this trip was for me to overcome my anxieties about traveling alone and sharing what I have learned and experienced.  I HAVE accomplished that.  But along the way I have gone down another path of thoughts and questions.  My word of the day is VALIDATION!  By writing this Blog was I actually seeking validation?

I suppose it is human nature to want to be validated, to receive approval.  But how do you separate wanting validation from wanting to just share and inform?  Or, do they go hand in hand?  The reason I am asking these questions is:  If the primary goal of this Blog was to share and inform, then why do I now find myself focusing on the number of likes on my Facebook page, the number of page views on my Blog and the number of comments made at both social media sites?

I suspect that this change in focus by me is driven by the current domination of the internet and social media. Before the internet, validation came from friends, family and associates, but now, people seem to need global validation.  They've become addicted to the concept that more is better.  The more "likes" you have, the more "contacts" you have the more validation you have.

I believe there is another group of people who fall between validation from friends and family and the group who seek global validation.  This particular group has probably been around since before internet and social media.  They also embrace the concept that more is better......they seem to need many friends and acquaintances....they belong to numerous organizations and social groups....it is like they think being alone is somehow a failure.  Their worth is measured by the number of contacts they have.  Again, more is better.....validation.

So where does someone like me who prefers a small circle of good friends, limited social media, and entertaining as desired, fit in?  What I learned on this trip is that I DON'T CARE!  I learned that there is such a thing as self validation, aka, "Love Thy Self"!  That is the foundation for happiness.  NOT how many friends you have, NOT how many organizations you belong to, NOT how many likes you have on Facebook, NOT how many page views your Blog has, NOT how many contacts you have on your Smartphone.  It is just one simple thing....do you love yourself?  If the answer is YES, then you are never alone!